By default, reviews are listed by review date and not release date. Films are rated up to .

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10/10 made me cry.
  The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies+
I really wanted to love it, but it just came up short. There were some really dumb parts, specifically the character of Alfred, who should clearly have been cut. And the battle scenes didn't feel as cool as the Two Towers or Return of the King. I'm not sure why. Maybe I'm just older, maybe I've become desensitized to them, but whatever the reason, this film is certainly one companion short of a Fellowship.
A movie about God and Ramesses competing with each other to see who can be the biggest dick. God wins.
I found this similar to Inception. Great ideas and some great visuals, the problem is that I'm not convinced the story actually makes sense. After a while you just have to stop thinking and run with it. I did enjoy the presence of Jessica Chastain, who is becoming an increasingly strong contender to join the Holy Trinity of Gingers (currently consisting of Amy Adams, Bryce Dallas Howard, and Isla Fisher). I wouldn't want to be the guy who decides which one she'd replace.
  Horrible Bosses 2+
I did not really care for this. There were some good jokes, but I found it full of stupid bits that made no sense, that were included just for a gag. I'd expect that from a Family Guy episode or maybe a parody film like Airplane, but here it just seemed unnatural.
Pretty good, and I usually don't like war films. There were no annoying cliché scenes, for example having to perform surgery on the battlefield. Best of all, Shia LaBouef got shot in the face.
  The Maze Runner+
Great premise and start, but as it went on it made less and less sense. New characters appeared who had no impact on the story. The bad guy's motivations made no sense. The ultimate explanation of why there was a maze was ridiculous. Much better to give no explanation at all, like Cube, or actually a good one like Cabin in the Woods.
Amazing film. Similar to Lincoln in subject matter but about Britain and not America, and this time no flakey acting from the lead. Introduced me to the word 'mulatto', and this film featured a particularly hot one. Apparently the term is not considered racist yet, so get your fill while you can.
  The Inbetweeners 2+
"Oh look, there's a cunt playing a guitar" I wish more films had that line. Man I hate guitars.
  Guardians of the Galaxy +
Can't find a single fault with this film. The story was great, and unlike most Marvel films, it had less plotholes than this site has had updates in the last six months (two, including this one). Cast was great, CGI was great, and it even included sweeping vistas of a futuristic utopian city (like Elysium), which always gets high marks from me. It was even genuinely funny. I intend to sack off Thor and Captain America 3, but I've already marked GoG 2's release date in my calendar.
  Transformers: Age of Extinction+
+ a star for sacking Shia Lawhatevs
- a star for sacking Rosie HW
+ a star for phrase 'Autobots, roll out!'
- two stars for Asian autobot with Asian accent
- two more stars for autobot with metal cigar
- seven stars for ridiculous plot
+ thirteen and a half stars because transforming robots will always be the most watchable thing ever
Started off great, but the plot went a bit strange half way through. Also I always find Johnny Depp kind of shit whenever he plays just a normal guy.
  Edge of Tomorrow2 rube reviews
Tooooo good. Half of what makes a sci-fi film great is the concept, and here it was absolutely top notch. Such a BRILLIANT idea (when you die you always wake up again at a specific point in the past) and excellent story too. Emily Blunt continues to take her daily hot pills. The film was so good, I almost forgot it had Tom Cruise in it.
  X-men: Days of Future Past+
Loved it. Absolutely astonishing cast, amazing visuals (specifically re. the Sentinels which were way cool baddies), and the plot even mostly made sense. Drops half a star for not working Ellen Page's newly announced sexuality into the script somehow.
Loved it. If you treat the entire story as a work of fiction, it transforms it from a 'this makes no sense' film to something very unique and defo worth seeing. When have you seen a creation myth told with full CGI before? You haven't is when. Top notch tunes from the Clint, as expected, and amazing visuals. I rate it as about fifteen orders of magnitude better than Evan Almighty.
  The Grand Budapest Hotel+
Of all the films I've seen about a small Indian boy who grows up to be a white man with a beard, this is undoubtedly my favourite.
"A sexually explicit film about sex addiction starring Michael Fassbender and Carey Mulligan". Sounds like the best film eu, but I was sorely disappointed. There is no real plot. Reminds me of Inside Llewyn Davis, although this film does at least feature Fassbender wang.
  300: Rise of an Empire+
Eva Green = death by spontaneous trouser explosion
  The Time Travelers Wife+
I very much enjoyed About Time, a film where Rachel McAdams marries a time traveller. Then I learnt she'd done the exact same thing two years earlier (the slut). I wasn't disappointed.
  12 Inches a Slave+
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